So many times, as we go through life, we confuse wrong choices and responses as indictments of our true worth as humans.
Somewhere in our history we experienced things that offered us fear and criticism that we internalized and unwittingly labeled ourselves as fundamentally wrong. As we grew through the formative years of life, we interpreted our inner dialogue about this dynamic as a perpetual reinforcement of our defectiveness.
We began to build defenses against this dynamic by learning to play roles in our environments “acting” as the character we believe would be worthwhile. Or in giving up on this endeavor, we attach ourselves with the deviant behavior that would indicate an “I don’t care anyway” persona. Either way we lose the ability to accurately see ourselves and therefore the ones around us. We create false interpretations of other’s intents and generalize these to all life circumstances. We lose the ability to embrace humility and the natural life experience of being imperfect and making mistakes. Effective therapy is one that not only challenges this sense of being a mistake rather than have made mistakes but begins to assist the individual to have compassion and empathy for all persons. This often involves making sense of their life experiences and re-creating painful memories and habits into new ones embracing insight and meaning.
This gift of re-writing one’s story is one not to be missed.